


In The Name Of You

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: The story behind Yamada Ryosuke's solo debut.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

The boy walked lazily inside the dressing room he shared with his bandmates. Looking around, he sighed deeply when he found that no one was there yet and scurried down to the couch and collapsed on it. Closing his eyes, he lied down and dropped his bag to the ground. Curling his body, he tried not to cry as he bit his lower lip. But the conversation he had last night could not seemed to get away as it kept on repeating inside his head.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
 _"Yamada-kun, do you have a minute ?"_  
  
Raising hiw eyebrows in wonder, the boy nodded his head as he followed his manager out of the room. He was last in the dressing room, so there was no questioning looks being thrown his way as he walked out.  
  
Surprisingly, his manager took him to the conference room in which some people from the agency were seated around the table. He recognized the chief manager, and then there is the head of public relation division too. But what surprised him the most was the existence of their very own Director Johnny-san who seated at the very end of the table. Suddenly feeling conscious with his appearance, Ryosuke tried his best to looked at least presentable in his after-shower look.  
  
Taking a seat his manager appointed him, Ryosuke straightened his back as the man on Johnny-san's right side spoke.  
  
"Yamada-kun, I know this is sudden. But concerning your appearance at Kindaichi's new special drama, we would like you to sing the themesong for it."  
  
"Uhm, it's alright I think." Ryosuke commented shortly. He had expected this after all. "Does the rest of JUMP had been informed about it ?"  
  
"No, Yamada-kun." This time, the one on Johnny-san's left who he recognized as the chief manager who spoke. "There will be no JUMP. There will be only you this time."  
  
Ryosuke said nothing for a couple of seconds, trying to absorb the information.  
  
"Eh ? Why ?" He said at last.  
  
"Well, for once, this is your drama. Your project. A big one if I should say." The chief manager started. "So we thought, why don't we have you do a solo debut for this one ? I think this would be a good chance for you."  
  
"But Dai-cha- I mean, Arioka-kun was in the drama as well. Don't you think it would be better if we do it together ? I mean, as Hey! Say! JUMP, just like we usually did." Ryosuke tried to argue.  
  
"It's different this time. If we try to speak about the market, having you alone to sing the the themesong would be better." The chief manager reasoned out. "And don't you think it's time ? Fans had expected you to go solo for quite sometimes already."  
  
"But- I can't go solo !" Ryosuke protested. "I can't do this if it's not with JUMP. I'm sorry, but I just can't."  
  
"Look, Yamada-kun." Much to his surprise, it was Johnny-san himself who spoke. "By going solo, that doesn't mean that you have to leave JUMP. It's like acting. When you act in a drama, you went as Yamada Ryosuke, and not as a Hey! Say! JUMP member."  
  
The boy said nothing as he lowered his head down, unable to look into anyone's eyes.  
  
"We'll give you time to think about it. I know this is hard, especially for you who are so close with your bandmates. But please think about it carefully." The elder man then signaled the people inside the room that the meeting is over.  
  
Looking up, Ryosuke nodded at his manager as he told him that they could leave now. Standing up, the boy bowed down and bid them a goodbye before leaving the room completely.  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
Because of that conversation, Ryosuke found himself unable to sleep despite knowing that the next day would be one busy day. But the words kept haunting him and prevent him to rest properly. And so by the morning, long before any of the family woke up, he got off from bed and into the showers. When his mother called him an hour later for breakfast, he trudged down the dining room in a foul mood. He knew his mother was concerned about him, but he was glad that she didn't asked anything. Bidding his parents goodbye, and a slight wave to his just-wake-up sisters, Ryosuke left the house ground earlier than usual. And as expected, no one was there before him when he reached the dressing room.  
  
Turning over from his position so he could face the couch, Ryosuke pretended to be asleep when he heard the door being opened and footsteps sound shuffled closer.  
  
"Eh ? Is that Yama-chan ?" Yuto's voice was heard as the boy seemingly walking closer his way. "He's asleep."  
  
"It's rare for him to come this early." Another voice he recognized belonged to Daiki came around. "Well, practice won't start before 9. Let him be for the time being."  
  
Not too long after, one by one, the rest of JUMP members started to show up and filled the previously silent room with chatters and laughters. Smiling contendedly at the familiar and calming atmosphere, Ryosuke relaxed and tried to sleep for real, slightly missing a warm blanket draped around his figure and a gentle hand caressed his face.  
  
***  
  
When Ryosuke opened his eyes, he was met once again with the empty room and looked around in confusion. He could see scattered things around the place so he was sure that he wasn't dreaming yet when the rest of the members came. And as a brown blanket fell to his lap as he sat up only caused his confusion to grow. Looking down at his watch, he gasped when the time showed him that it was past noon already.  
  
Grumbling in annoyance at his bandmates who didn't bothered to wake him up, he rummaged through his bag to try and find his clothes when the door being opened.  
  
"Ah, Yama-chan ! You've awaken !" Came in a bouncy Yuto who then proceeded to his bag and pick a towel to wipe his sweat-covered face.  
  
"Yuto-kun !" Ryosuke trudged toward the taller boy and crossed his arms. "Why didn't any of you woke me up before ?" He demanded with a pout on his face.  
  
The younger yet taller boy shrugged as he half-pulled the sulking boy back to the couch.  
  
"You looked so tired with those ugly black circles below your eyes." Yuto pointed at his eyes. "And we found out that you're having a slight fever. That's why none of us had a heart to wake you up. We've told Sanche-san about this. So don't worry, you're excused from practice for the rest of the day."  
  
Ryosuke blushed as he averted his gaze somewhere else.  
  
"Sorry to trouble you." He whispered softly, but enough for Yuto to hear.  
  
"Don't think about it." Yuto shook his head. "Anyway, how are you feeling now ? Better ?"  
  
The older boy nodded his head. "It was nothing actually. I just didn't have enough sleep lately."  
  
"That's not good now, is that, Yama-chan ?" The taller boy said in disapproval. "Now, are you hungry ? The other guys are out for food already. Would you like me to grab you one ?"  
  
"Really, I can get them myself, Yuto-kun." Ryosuke chuckled lightly.  
  
"No, no, no. You just stay here and I'll grab your lunch, okay ?" Yuto told him in a firm tone as he stood.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts. You wait here and I'll be back in a minute." And with that, the tall boy disappeared behind the door.  
  
True enough, just a little over a minute later, the boy had returned with two lunch bento in on hand, while the other hand is skillfully holding two cans of juice.  
  
"Here." He dropped the two bento on Ryosuke's lap as he fell on the couch. "Come on, let's eat."  
  
The shorter boy just nodded his head as he opened one bento and start eating in silence.  
  
Half-way through their lunch, Yuto suddenly spoke, "Yama-chan, is there something on your mind ?"  
  
"Hm ? Why do you ask ?" Ryosuke asked back confusedly.  
  
"Well, for a reason, you looked uneasy. It's like there's something weighing up your mind at the moment." Yuto shrugged. "You know you can tell me anything, right ?"  
  
Ryosuke suddenly tensed at the exclamation but he tried to hide it.  
  
"I know." He responded softly. "But it's nothing, really. You don't have to be worried."  
  
"I see." Yuto turned his attention back to his lunch, looking disappointed. "Just, don't hesitate to tell me anything, okay ?"  
  
"Un." Nodding his head, Ryosuke started to think of whether he should really tell his bandmates about the matter that had been bothering him since last night or not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

Despite his wills to not to be affected by the disturbing thought on his daily life, he had failed miserably as he kept on making misses during the next day's practice. Their choreographer had understood, that Ryosuke was not feeling all too well since yesterday so he tried to be patient. But even his patience has limits.  
  
"YAMADA ! I'VE TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TURN TO THE LEFT AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND !" He shouted angrily at the shaken boy.  
  
"I-I'm so s-sorry..." He could only squirmed backwards and tried to be as small as possible.  
  
"Whatever ! Break time for an hour everyone !" The man waved while shaking his head before he stomped outside the room.  
  
Ryosuke sighed deeply when the door is closed and Sanche-san is out of sight already. Turning around to face his worried bandmates, he bowed and muttered an apology before dragging his feet to a corner and slumped down. Trying to mute every sounds and completely missing his bandmates who quickly huddled over each other and start a serious conversation.  
  
"It was so unlike Yama-chan to made that kind of mistakes." Yabu started off.  
  
That's when Hikaru suddenly gasped and gained their attentions. "I know ! Some alien must have kidnapped the real Yamada and sent this guy here as a replacement ! You know, to take over the world and all !"  
  
"Stupid !" Inoo raised a hand and whack the joker's head. "That's most certainly not possible."  
  
"Maybe he's not feeling completely well yet ? If so then shouldn't we have him excused for the rest of the day ?" Keito inquired worriedly which are followed by several nods by his other bandmates.  
  
"Should we ask him to go home then ?" Chinen questioned.  
  
Yuto shook his head with in disagreement. "I don't want him to walk home by himself if he's really sick. Maybe we can have him stay in the dressing room to rest until practice is over ? After that, one of us can escort him home."  
  
"Agreed." Yabu nodded his head. "But I think it's better for us to know the source of the problem first. Maybe we should try and coaxed him the story."  
  
"Well then, me and Dai-chan will talk to the boy while you and Hikaru go to tell Sanche-san about it." Takaki concluded as he pointed at Yabu's face. "And you, Yuto, go and prepare the dressing room for Yama-chan. The rest of you, scrambled around and do something useful for the time being."  
  
Albeit surprised at Takaki's sudden authoritive tone, Daiki just let the boy dragged him toward the corner where Ryosuke currently sulking as he watched the rest of the gank shrugged and shuffling out of the room.  
  
"Yama-chan ?"  
  
Both Daiki and Ryosuke turned toward Takaki's direction as the oldest of the three began to speak.  
  
"Are you alright ?"  
  
The two BEST members watched as the boy smiled and nodded his head.  
  
"Yeah. Just a little tired. Sorry to trouble you all guys."  
  
The two older boys looked at each other before nodding their heads in understanding and sit right in front of Ryosuke.  
  
"It's nothing really." This time, it was Daiki who was speaking. "But you shouldn't forced yourself if you're not feeling so well. We can't have our center boy to fall sick at the most critical time now, can we ?"  
  
A sad look spreaded on Ryosuke's face as he looked down to his interwinted fingers. "I know. Sorry."  
  
A frown creased on both Takaki and Daiki's face.  
  
"Yama-chan ? Is there, is there something mattered ?" Takaki tried.  
  
"Hm ? Ah, it's nothing. It's nothing really." Ryosuke smiled, trying to assured the other two.  
  
"Don't 'it's nothing' me, Yamada." Daiki rolled his eyes. "We've been watching you since yesterday. You seemed, disoriented. It's as if you're concerned about something but afraid to talk about it."  
  
Ryosuke bit his lower lip in guilt as he avoided the two boys' eyes.  
  
"Tell us, Yama-chan. Who knows we could help you through." Takaki added softly. "We're friends, aren't we ? Don't you trust us to help you through this ?"  
  
The boy bit his lower lip harder until he felt metallic taste of his own blood from the wound. The more he thought about it, the more he felt suffocated by it. And so unconsciously, he began to cry openly.  
  
"Yamada ? Why are you crying ?"  
  
He just shook his head frantically as he bury his head in his hands.  
  
"Oh, Yama-chan..."  
  
And before he knew it, he found himself crying into Takaki's broad chest and wetted his shirt. Two hands slowly wrapped around him before he felt them tapping gently on his back. Another smaller hand he knew belonged to Daiki softly placed itself on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Shh.. It's alright.. It's alright, just cry.. Shh.." Takaki whispered comforting words to his ear while Daiki could only stare at him in pity.  
  
A minute later, Daiki saw Yabu's head propped on the doorway so he quickly put his finger in front of his mouth, signaling the older boy to stay quiet. Looking up from Daiki's shoulder, Yabu nodded his head and closed the door back behind him, leaving the three boys alone inside the room.  
  
For almost half an hour Ryosuke cried on Takaki's chest before he finally pulled away and wiped the remnant of tears from his face.  
  
"Sorry." Came his muffled comment. "I didn't mean to breakdown like that."  
  
"People have their ups and downs. It's only natural for you to react that way." Takaki said with a low chuckle as he ruffled the youngest boy's hair. "Feeling better now ?"  
  
"Yeah. Thank you." Ryosuke smiled in gratitude before the three of them fell into silence.  
  
Truthfully, Takaki and Daiki were dying to know what was happening with Ryosuke for him to cry like that. But after the sudden breakdown, they knew better than to pry. So they both came to a silent agreement that they'll just wait for the boy to spill the truth when he's ready.  
  
Which is not all that long.  
  
"You see, two days ago, I had a talk with the agency." Ryosuke started. "They told me to cover the themesong for Kindaichi. But I refused."  
  
"Why ?" Takaki asked, clearly flabbergasted.  
  
"Because they told me to do it solo !" Ryosuke wailed. "How could I ever accept such an offer ? It's as if I'm betraying you guys if I do."  
  
"What are you talking about ?" Takaki asked in a surprised voice. "It's a chance for you. A big chance ! You should have take it !" He exclaimed, followed with Daiki's agreeing nod.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Listen." Daiki cut him off. "How do you feel about JUMP ?"  
  
"Well," Ryosuke frowned in confusion. "I love JUMP. Whenever I'm with JUMP, I would feel at ease. It's as if having a second family."  
  
"Then you'll be fine." Daiki commented with a satisfied smile.  
  
"Eh ? What do you mean ?" Ryosuke frowned deeper.  
  
"We understand that you're feeling uncertain because of what had happened with Akanishi-kun and Yamashita-kun before. But we're neither KAT-TUN nor NEWS. We're Hey! Say! JUMP. And we trust you that you won't end up like the two of them." The younger of the two said gently while Takaki reached out a hand and wipe the stubborn tear which had started to fall again from the youngest boy's eyes.  
  
"So have more faith in yourself." Added Takaki as he gave the boy a smile.  
  
As Ryosuke lifted his face and stared at the two older boys, he then realized how lucky he was to be surrounded by these kind of people. Yes, they are his family. So even if he was to walk alone, they will still be there behind him to watch over him. And when he was about to take the wrong way, they will still be there and guide him the right way. And as he was about to fall, they will still be there to catch him.  
  
"I got it. Thanks." He smiled whole-heartedly as the two older boys started to grin wider.  
  
"Anytime."  
  
***  
  
"Ne, Yama-chan."  
  
Looking to his right, Ryosuke tilted his head and make a questioning look at the taller boy's unusual weak tone.  
  
"What's the matter, Yuto-kun ?"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me ?" Came the weak reply from the other boy.  
  
"Eh ? Tell you about what ?" He asked again in confusion.  
  
"About you going solo." Yuto pouted as he hung his head low. "I'm hurt, Yama-chan."  
  
"Ah, sorry." Ryosuke bit his lower lip guiltily. "I didn't mean to hide it from you. I was just, confused I think." And that's when a realization hit him. "How did you know about it ? I haven't told anyone aside from Dai-chan and Yuya about it just yet !"  
  
The younger boy just shrugged as he continue walking.  
  
"I kinda overheard your conversation in the practice room this afternoon." His voice had suddenly turned colder now. "But seriously, I'm hurt."  
  
"I'm sorry already alright." Ryosuke groaned at the comment.  
  
"Because Yama-chan is so important to me. But it seems that to you, I'm just no one."  
  
At the sadness mirrored on the taller boy's eyes, Ryosuke felt a stab on his heart as he lowered his head down.  
  
"It's not like that. It's just-"  
  
"That you don't trust me enough to tell me about it ?" Yuto retorted sarcastically. "Yeah, of course. I'm not anyone to you after all."  
  
"I said it's not like that !" Ryosuke yelled which had effectively stopped Yuto's tracks. His lips trembling as he clutched the fabric in front of his chest tight when the taller boy turned his way. "I, I just didn't want you to hate me if you found out about this. Because, I can't stand being hated, especially by you."  
  
"Why do you think I will hate you if I knew ?" Yuto's voice had turned back to the usual gentle tone as he caressed Ryosuke's cheek.  
  
"I-" Ryosuke hesitated for a moment, but the look in Yuto's eyes encouraged him to continue. "I had stole the spotlight from you. I rarely had times together again like we used to be. And I even forgotten your birthday this year and would never wish you a happy birthday -let alone getting you a present- if not for the other guys reminded me about it. I, I never did anything for you eventhough you're so nice to me. All I ever did was to hurt you. And to know that I might be going solo must have upset you."  
  
Wiping the unshed tears from the older boy's eyes, Yuto chuckled lightly. " You WILL be going solo. Not might be." His hand then moved into the top of his head. "And how could I be angry at you ? With you being this adorable." He chuckled again at the blush forming on Ryosuke's cheeks.  
  
"But-"  
  
"I never demand you to do anything for me. You didn't stole the spotlight from me. You gained it. And honestly, I'm proud of you. I know that you're busy, and it's enough for me to know that you could still find times to rest properly in between your tight schedule. I understand if you forgot my birthday because you were not in your best condition at that time. Truthfully, I forgot my own birthday myself because I was busy worrying about you because you were having a high fever the night before. And I don't need you to do anything at all to me because just by seeing you safe and sound are enough for me." He narrated gently while ruffling Ryosuke's hair with his hand. "All I wanted you to do, is for you to tell me things that are in your head. Share your burdens with me and let me shouldered some of them. Cry your pains with me and let me ease your worries. Tell me your craziest imaginations and let me laugh it off with you."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I know." Yuto smiled gently. "Just, let me be the first to know if anything should happen again, okay ?"  
  
Nodding his head, Ryosuke smiled as he took the offered hand and walk hand-by-hand with the taller boy.  
  
"As expected, I can never win from Yuto-kun." He suddenly said as they took a left turn.  
  
"Hm ? What do you mean ?"  
  
"Yuto-kun is so skillful and kind and caring and all." He blushed as Yuto stared at him in confusion. "As someone who claimed himself as your rival, I hate to say it that you're a perfect being and I can never beat you in any way."  
  
A laughter soon erupted from Yuto's lips which earned him an annoyed pout from the older boy.  
  
"What's so funny ?" He demanded childishly.  
  
"Nothing." Yuto wiped the escaped tears as he tone down his laughter.  
  
Ryosuke just pouted harder as he released Yuto's hand and crossed both his arms in front of his chest instead.  
  
"Well then, on the contrary, I love to say it that I can never get enough of your cuteness, the one thing you could beat me without a fight." Stealing a peck on Ryosuke's cheek, Yuto grinned widely as he once again took Ryosuke's hand in his and pulled the blushing boy closer with him.  
  
"I love you."  
  
~~~OMAKE~~~  
  
"Kyaaaaaaa~ Yama-chan is so cute here !"  
  
"What are you watching ?" The boy whose name was mentioned quickly rushed toward the group who are huddling against each other in front of the TV. And as soon as he caught a glimpse of what is being played on it, he felt his cheeks reddened as he start flailing over the remote control.  
  
"Uwaaah ! Turn it off ! It's so embarrasing so please turn it off !" His attempts was proven to be futile as Yabu had unfairly held the small device up in the air. So out of his reach.  
  
"Look at him calling at us ! So cute~ Crying out 'it's lonely, it's lonely', so typical of Yama-chan~" Takaki commented with a grin as he focused his eyes on the screen.  
  
"Mou !" He pouted when an idea strike him. Smirking, he walked silently toward the power outlet, but stopped midway when a hand grabbed his waist and pulled him to the couch. Turning his head to scold his assaulter, he blushed instead when he found himself face-to-face with a smiling Yuto.  
  
"Let them be, Yama-chan. We just should cuddle together while we can." The taller boy pulled him closer and pulled Ryosuke's head to rest on his shoulder.  
  
Still blushing, Ryosuke just nodded as he closed his eyes contendedly. And when the two boys finally find a comfortable position on the couch, Hikaru had to chose that time to scream out,  
  
"Bwahahahaha ! How could he forgot his own song title ? Music Virgin he said, bwahahahaha !"


End file.
